it’s been a long week back after being off for 10 days so come mid-week, all i wanted to do is relax. well, at least a little bit. getting outside and enjoying the sun and the boys was pretty high on my want list too because wednesday night was another trial and lesson for us and gibson. let me set the scene:
gibson was invited with a friend to the park. his friend’s mom and i are super close friends so when she texted me later that gibson had left their house mad and informed me as to what when on between the boys, i called matt and asked him to ask gibson what was going on.
sidebar: gibson, has been caught in a few white lies lately that we know he was guilty of but at some point when he won’t break, we just have to move on and fight another battle. one of them was he poured half of a new bottle of DRAINO down the drain and all the signs were there that he did it but he adamantly denied it. we put his feet to the fire and gave him ultimatums and let him know that God knew the truth and would deal with him in ways that we could not. still he denied it.
back to this story: he told matt that nothing happened so matt had him remain in his room until he could remember what happened and talk about it. the kid was still in his room when i came home at ten after four. so i chatted with him…steel door i tell ya. and those blue eyes man…but i knew. so we put him on trial and made him take the stand.
basically it was his reaction to his friend telling him he couldn’t play with a certain lego that he was trying to cover up.
here is how the desk was stacked against him:
#1: friend had no gain from tattling on him about his behavior, therefore, no reason to lie about it or make up a story. but gibson had every reason to cover it up.
#2: gibson claimed that my friend knew he left but she actually noticed he was gone and asked her son “where’s gibson?” so friend was just letting his mom know what had transpired.
#3: my friend doesn’t lie and wouldn’t tell me this unless she was concerned.
after a few clarifying texts and phone calls back and forth, we pulled out the big guns. we told gibson that if his friend (and his mother…one of my besties and pretty much the sweetest and most honest person on this planet) were liars, he was going to call them on the phone and end the friendship. i mean, who wants to be friends with liars, right? once i got the okay from mom that friend would take the call and play along…we began to stress how important it is to have good friends that aren’t dishonest. at that point we began to dial the phone but matt gave gibson one more chance to talk about what happened. thanks to my super hubby’s abilities to use words and examples and scenarios that gibson can understand, within about 2 minutes…
tears flowed and the truth literally flew out of him. this boy not only told the whole truth (and nothing but the truth) about the afternoon’s events, he even confessed to the draino!
this boy of ours has such a good heart. God made him very sensitive and very caring. he just lacks self-control and allows his emotions to rule his behavior. i think we had a breakthrough that night. we all felt closer. we all felt triumphant.
as parents we were able to go the extra step that some won’t dare go instead of just laying down and taking his side.
we are not his buddies, we are his parents and we reminded him of that.
he was triumphant because he now has the awareness that this is a problem and we are giving him the tools to control himself and avoid it altogether.
he got himself grounded until this afternoon so he understands that the lying will get you in more trouble than the crime (most times). he’s helped around the house with alacrity and a smile. he also called friend’s mom to apologize for wasting her time with the whole debacle and to thank her again for taking him along for fun twice this week.
charge: falsifying statements and lying to authority figures
verdict: guilty through confession
sentence: 2 days house arrest, additional house duties and apologies to affected parties. privileges earned back for good behavior. placed on probation for undetermined amount of time.
case dismissed. lesson learned.
which brings us back to my desire to just hang with them today. we filled the pools back up after a couple weeks of too-hot-to-even-look-outside temps.
marshall and gibson had finished their popsicles and had gone back to play in the water. so i took advantage of a little relaxing time. looks great, huh?
gibson even graced me with his hands…then i caught him!
but he is too easily distracted by laughter that he couldn’t keep up the act.
he even tried to give gibson and i extreme hammock rides.
then he got tired and got cuddly. which makes my heart melt.
feeling extremely blessed right now. my kids are not perfect and they are crazy but they are mine. God gave them to me and even though sometimes i feel like i’m messing them up, we are mostly a happy little family that’s just trying to get to the next day. eventually leading to two grown men who will want to bring their families back to mom and dad’s house for dinner and spoiling. it makes me teary just thinking about how distant that reality is…so i’m gonna enjoy them and be still in the moments we have.
gotta give thanks to three of my favorite bloggy buddies for inspiring me in my everyday thoughts on parenting and life. it seems like we’ve all had our trials this week. i’m glad to have you ladies.